How many times a day do you say to your kids, husband, co-worker, colleague “Its okay, you did your best. You will do better next time.” We seem to be comfortable encouraging others when they fail or fall short. Unfortunately when it comes to ourselves, we are often not so forgiving.
No one is perfect…but when we aren’t perfect we can get upset, discouraged or thrown off course. We begin comparing ourselves to others, questioning if we are good enough, or we simply give up and assume that we cant do any better, so why even try. I have a Type A personality, pair that we my melancholy personality traits and you have a recipe for disaster. I nit pic, I nit pic at MYSELF. If its not right it bothers me to the core. Although this has resulted in a lot of success in my life, it has brought me lot of stress and anxiety.
Recently I received a backhanded compliment that put everything into perspective. Some one told me “Oh my goodness, your so creative and organized. Your friends must HATE you! I could never accomplish all the things you do in one day. Their husbands are probably like,’ Look at what Nicole does, why don’t you do that too?'” I left that conversation with a bitter taste in my mouth. We see what others do and assume that because we do things differently, we are inferior. I’ve read numerous blog posts discussing why bloggers make people feel inferior. How their “perfect” lives, “perfectly” decorated homes or talents motivate some while depressing others.
I am WELL aware that my home, my family and my life are no where near perfect. I choose to focus on what I call the “perfect moments amidst the chaos”. I like to view this blog as my happy place where I celebrate the small victories that I have every week and share them with others in hopes that they can celebrate with me or push me to be better. Most importantly, I pray that my small victories inspire others. You don’t see the piles of laundry and dishes, the food smeared table after every meal, the toddler meltdowns and fights. Those things are the norm around here, as they are in any home with small children. You don’t see the moments where I have to remove myself from the classroom to pray for patience (and believe me, it happens DAILY). Don’t let the pictures of my three little guys fool you, this parenting/homeschooling this is no joke!
As women, we often experience self induced hatred due to our irrational assumption that we are supposed to be perfect as mothers, wives, employees or whatever role we take on. We know our personal best and at times if we do not meet it, we feel defeated. In those times, what happens to that forgiving and encouraging attitude that we show others? Clearly we don’t view ourselves as being worthy of that forgiveness. We may not say we hate who we are or our flaws but we have to admit, we really dislike them. Anything that highlights what we view as our shortcomings causes us more self loathing.
Do yourself a favor and begin to love what makes you imperfect. Those dreaded imperfections are what makes you unique. Those imperfections are those things that God has placed in you to make you strive to be greater. He knows we aren’t perfect, and that gives Him room to work in you to perform a miracle.
Everyday I’m embracing my short comings and flaws more and more. They allow me to see where I especially need God to come in and rebuild. He’s revealing more about myself everyday that needs improvement and I LOVE that! Just like an ugly table that needs to be refinished or repainted, or a dirty closet that needs to be cleaned and reorganized; He’s doing that in me daily and I know the results are going to be mind blowing. When I decide what project I’m going to do or what area I’m going to work on around my home, I choose it based on its potential to make my life and the lives of those in my home better. How will this improvement bless my family or help make my life easier? I’m sure God looks at us in the same way. “How will her life bless others? What can I do in her life that will make an impact on the world?” We are the projects of the greatest Do- it -Yourself enthusiast to ever exist, so I know when He’s done with us, we will come out shining like gold. Just trust His process! It’s okay to rest in your imperfections. These same imperfections that you have today, may very well be your strongest attribute next year.